American

Sacrifice

/ darphynia / Leave a comment

To my parental units:

I know that things didn’t always come easy.  You both were brought up in very different households.  Mom, your parents experienced The Great Depression and didn’t have a lot of money until you and two of your siblings were grown and gone.  Dad, your parents had to suffer through the interment camps, and despite your brother being born in one, everyone made it out.  They were release with what they could carry, and had to start completely over.  They (my grandparents) sacrificed so much to make sure there was food on the table. 

Fast forward a couple of decades and you two are married.  Then, after some time, I was born.  Unlike my younger brother, I was born early…three months early.  I wasn’t expected to make it, but somehow I did.  You and dad sacrificed so much time, making the nearly two-hour drive to see me every day after work.  Grandma and Grandpa went sometimes, but I don’t know that Baachan and Jiichan did.  When I came home, I was on monitors and you two had to make sure everything was okay.  It was hard emotionally and financially, and you were so lucky to have the support you did.  Luckily, when my brother came along four years later, he was healthy and full-term. 

I was lucky to not have the plethora of health problems associated with prematurity.  Even though we have always had our spats, you have (for the most part) been supportive in whatever I was doing.  I can remember asking why you two decided to have kids.  Growing up, I was picked on periodically because I was mixed, and not just by classmates.  Family (on my White side) would says things, which made me fill that I didn’t belong.  Now, I am comfortable enough with who I am to tell them to f**k off.  Why can’t we all just see each other for who we are and not our skin color, ethnicity, and/or race?  Anyhow, in the video below the people were asked, “Do you have anything to say to your parents?”…and yeah, I do.

I know I don’t say it often, but I really appreciate everything you do and have done for me, especially financially.  You could have been like other parents and literally kicked me out when I went to college, but you didn’t.  Mom, Dad, thank you.  I love you!

– Me


—

I know that this video focuses on Asian immigrants, and wish they would do videos on Americans who have come from all over the world.  Of course there are outliers, but in general, people have made some sort of sacrifice for the betterment of their family.  It can be a hard thing to just head to a new country, especially when you don’t have a job laid out and are essentially alone.  Hope you like it, and that it makes you think about those who have sacrificed for you, whether or not they are your parents.  Thanks, Buzzfeed!

 
                                                 **Video courtesy of Buzzfeed

Growing Up Hapa

/ darphynia / Leave a comment
Image courtesy of pinterest

Okay, I know the term “hapa” was not originally meant to be a positive term, but it honestly doesn’t bother me.  I never thought that growing up as half Japanese and half White would be a plus until I was older.  Growing up I was surrounded by kids who were “whole”.  They were White, Black, Hispanic, you name it, but very rarely did I encounter anyone who was mixed.  As a child, I remember being asked, “What are you?” and being told, “You’re weird.”  That had a profound affect on how I identified, and did a number on my self-esteem.  I was never a “whole” anything, and I so desperately wanted to be like everyone else.  My bestest-best friend is also mixed, but she moved away when we were still in grade school.  It also didn’t help that my White side was far less accepting of my being mixed than my Japanese side (I’ve always felt more connected to them)…not all of my White relatives, but many of them.  This is going to sound incredibly racist, but large groups of White people freaked me out, even when it came to family reunions.  Luckily I no longer have that problem.  My brother looks White, but since I don’t I was always told I “looked weird” by some of my White relatives.  Of course, being young I didn’t understand that it wasn’t me who was weird; it was them.  My experience being mixed led me to write a literature review in undergrad that focused on the effects of being mixed on adolescent behavior. 

I never chose (and still don’t choose) friends based on race/ethnicity.  We are all human; you get along with some people and others, well, not so much.  The first time I was told that I couldn’t be friends with someone because of my ethnicity was in high school.  By that time, I could handle people thinking I was weird for being mixed.  I was not, however, ready for that kind of racism.  Of course I knew it existed…I just didn’t think it would affect me.  There was The Hapa Project awhile back, which I decided to participate in while it was at JANM (Japanese American National Museum).  They took a Polaroid, and asked us to answer:  “What are you?”  I thought, “…human, of course!”  In the process that is life, I have learned to accept and love the fact that I am different.  I have also learned that I am “whole”.  I am 100% hapa and 100% American! 

Hopefully those of you who are struggling will know you are not alone.  If you are mixed, have you experienced anything like I did?